Even though I want to keep giving Noah breast milk, I can’t wait until this is over. I’m taking FenuGreek and I’m pumping at night to keep my supply up, but just now I couldn’t get more than 3.25 ounces. Noah is drinking 5 oz bottles. I’ve had to start supplementing his daycare bottles with my freezer stash, which is fine because my freezer stash was going to waste anyway. But it’s stressful seeing my pumping output drop when I’m doing everything I can to get as much output as I can.
I used to pump 4-5 ounces with no problem. I understand that supply usually drops once the baby starts solids & starts sleeping through the night, but I just can’t shake the stress of not producing enough. I don’t think I’m producing enough to satisfy him when nursing anymore. I usually nurse him to sleep at night, but last night he was done in less than 10 minutes, then he kept switching sides in a desperate attempt to get more. Robbie fixed him a 4 oz bottle and he chugged it down in 5 minutes. I hate the feeling of not being able to provide for him.
But at the same time I know that there’s not really an issue of him going without. I mean, if worse comes to worse then I’ll just use up my freezer stash and put him on formula if I need to. There’s nothing wrong with formula feeding. I can’t explain why I feel so bad about my milk supply dropping. If anything I should be happy because I’ll be glad whenever I can ditch the freaking pump. And nothing is stopping me from ditching it now! I don’t have to continue breast feeding or pumping.
Ugh. Why do I feel this way? Why?