Blogging (Or Lack Thereof) & CIO

I’m having my first allergic reaction to a medication. Yesterday I finished a 10-day course of Augmentin (Amoxicillin). Today I broke out into red spots all over my body. They weren’t raised and they didn’t itch at first. I saw a NP at my doctor’s office and she thought that I might have a viral infection because I’m also battling cold symptoms. She said that if the spots were itching she’d think it’s an allergic reaction. She said unless I started having trouble breathing or swallowing, then the only thing to do was rest up.

I began feeling progressively worse throughout the day. Worn down, cold symptoms raging. Then the bumps started itching. Now my skin feels like it’s sunburned. I feel like crap.

I know it’s been a while since I’ve updated. I just haven’t felt the urge to write. It’s not for lack of subject matter. Some things I’d like to write about are pretty personal and I just haven’t been up to visiting those emotions or making them public. I know it’s an age old excuse, but I truly don’t have a lot of free time either. Between working full time and caring for a 9 month old (who might start walking any day now!), I struggle to find time to pee sometimes, let alone to blog.

I’ve also had some layout issues that have made me not want to blog either.

Tomorrow is my aunt’s memorial service. She died unexpectedly the night before Halloween. Robbie, Noah and I will be going to Bowling Green to attend the service. I have more I could write about this, but I’m going to hold off.

Noah has been giving us hell at night. He wakes up screaming crying multiple times a night and we never know how long it’ll take to get him back down. Every time I’m in there rubbing his back or rocking him I think about how I’m preventing him from learning how to put himself back to sleep. While I was pregnant, Robbie and I swore we were going to stick to the Cry It Out (CIO) method. Well, it was a different story once Noah got here. Robbie was still prepared to let him CIO, but I just couldn’t do it. I felt like I was making things harder for myself and harder for Noah when I’d linger in his room for 30 minutes+ trying to get him back to sleep, but I just couldn’t resist rushing in there when he cried.

Well, I finally reached my breaking point. Yesterday I started letting him CIO. Don’t get me wrong, I would still go in there and check on him. But I wouldn’t linger long. I would do different things: check his diaper, wipe his nose, give him a hug, lay him back down. But I wouldn’t linger. I won’t say it worked perfectly the first night, but we had to start somewhere.

Tonight we started the cycle of screaming crying again. It didn’t take as long for him to get the message tonight though. I checked on him a couple of times. I’d get him calmed down, lay him back down, rub his back for just a moment and then I’d leave the room again. In between checks I got ready for bed and folded some laundry. We did this for about an hour.

I just so happened to be in the bedroom watching him on the baby monitor, counting down the minutes until I should go in and check on him again, when it happened. He stopped crying. He stood there quietly for a minute. Then he sat down. Sat quietly for another minute. Then he rolled onto his hands and knees, then laid down. He’s been asleep ever since.

I shed a little tear while watching this happen. I felt guilty, like I’d abandoned him. But I was happy to see him put himself to sleep. I never want him to feel like I’m not there when he needs me, but I need to teach him a little bit of self sufficiency. Am I a jerk for talking about self sufficiency in regards to my 9-month old? Maybe I’m just using the wrong words. I’m sick, cut me some slack.

Anyway. I hope the writing bug bites me again soon. I do miss blogging. Maybe I need to suck it up and get into some juicy personal stuff. Maybe not. We’ll see.

P.S. Jetpack released an update that offers the Publicize feature for self-hosted blogs. I’m SO EXCITED! No more dealing with that messed up Facebook app.